10 Marriage Tips - for Wives

29 July 2014

via Pinterest

Do you ever have moments where you think you are not good enough? Not necessarily putting yourself down or think you are a bad person but just that YOU could be better?
I do. Often.
I often think I could be a better mom, a better friend, a better daughter, a better daughter-in-law, a better citizen, a better follower. And more importantly, a better wife.

So any marriage advice or tips that I see and read really appeal to me, really speak to me. And I take it to heart. And I try better.
Recently, I came across this article being shared on Facebook:

The article was posted on the blog: Eighth Rising written by an inspiring couple: Frankie and Karen Lodato - a must read for all married couples and parents. 

I'm going to include the 10 tips below for easy reading... 
All I can say - all so simple but so true!

  1. Respect your husband.  - Notice how it doesn’t say “Respect your husband if he has earned it”. A man’s greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife.  The trap that we’ve all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone. Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn’t deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn’t mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren’t. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him.
  2. Guard your heart.  - The grass is not greener on the other side. Do not believe the lie that with a slimmer figure, a higher salary, a faster car, or a bigger house, you will be a happier woman. The world is full of things and people that will serve as reminders that you don’t have the best of the best, but it’s simply not true. Live the life you’ve been blessed with, and BE THANKFUL. I get that we all have struggles, and there are even times when I would love 1,000 more square feet of house to live in, but square feet is not fulfilling – relationships are. Guard your heart from things and people that will try to convince you that your life or your husband is not good enough.  There will always be bigger, faster, stronger, or shinier – but you’ll never be satisfied with more until you’re fulfilled with what you have now.
  3. God, husband, kids…in that order.  - I know this isn’t a popular philosophy, especially among mothers, but hear me out. It’s no secret that my faith is of utmost importance, so God comes first in my life no matter what. But regardless of your belief system, your husband should come before your kids. Now unless you’re married to someone who is abusive  (in which case, I urge you to seek help beyond what my blog can give you), no man in his right mind would ask you to put your kids aside to serve his every need while neglecting them. That’s not what this means. When you board an airplane, the flight attendants are required to go over emergency preparedness prior to takeoff. When explaining the part about how to operate the oxygen mask, passengers are instructed to first put the mask on themselves before putting it on their small child. Is that because they think you are more important than your kids? Absolutely not. But you cannot effectively help your child if you can’t breathe yourself. The same holds true with marriage and parenting. You cannot effectively parent your children if your marriage is falling apart. Take it from me – I tried. There will also come a time when your kids will leave the house to pursue their dreams as adults. If you have not cultivated a lasting relationship with your spouse, you will have both empty nests and empty hearts.
  4. Forgive.  - No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. If you make forgiveness a habit – for everything from major mistakes to little annoyances (every day, I have to forgive my husband for leaving the wet towel on the bathroom counter ;)) – you will keep resentment from growing.
  5. Over-communicate.  - I used to have a bad habit of not speaking my feelings. I played the standard “You should know why I’m mad” game, and that’s just downright unfair. Men are not wired like women, and they DON’T always know that they’ve been insensitive. I’m still growing in this area, and there are often times when my husband has to pry something out of me, but I’m trying to remember that I need to just communicate how I feel.
  6. Schedule a regular date night.  - This one isn’t new, but it’s very important. Never stop dating your spouse.  Even if you can’t afford dinner and a movie (which we seldom can), spending some regular one-on-one time with your spouse is essential. Don’t talk about bills, or schedules, or the kids. Frankie and I often daydream about our future, or plan our dream vacation. We connect emotionally and often learn something new about each other – even after four years.
  7. Never say the “D Word”.  - If you’re gonna say it, you better mean it. Plain and simple, threatening divorce is not fighting fair. I did this a lot in my previous marriages. I’m not proud of it, but I learned better. I was hurting deeply, and I wanted to hurt back, but it never helped me feel better.
  8. Learn his love language.  - Everyone has a love language. The way you perceive love is often different from the way your spouse perceives love. Does he like words of affirmation, or does he respond better when you give him gifts? Whatever his love language is – learn it and USE IT.  Edited to add: If you are unfamiliar with the principles behind love languages, you can learn more about it here.
  9. Never talk negatively about him.  - I learned this lesson the hard way too. If you’re going through a difficult time in your marriage and you need advice, see a counselor. Family counseling is a great tool, but try to remember that your family members and friends are not the most objective people to give advice. The argument they are hearing is one-sided and they often build up negative feelings toward your spouse, which usually doesn’t subside once you and your husband have gotten past it. Protect his image with those that you’re close with and seek help from those that can actually be objective.  News flash, ladies – your mother cannot be objective!
  10. Choose to love.  - There are times in a marriage that you may wake up and not feel in love anymore. Choose to love anyway. There are times when you may not be attracted to your husband anymore. Choose to love anyway. Marriage is a commitment. In sickness and health, in good times and in bad. Those vows are sacred. They don’t say “if you have bad times”. They say “in good times AND in bad”, implying that there WILL be bad times. It’s inevitable. So choose to love anyway. He’s worth it.
What do you think ladies? Resonate or ring true with you?
Today, I am going to be a better wife.

Birthday Giveaway: Julie Kins

28 July 2014

Our first giveaway this month, is from the very talented 
Julie Kins
Your very own print - valued at R140

Julie designs unique and custom made art prints for your home. She has conceptualised a range of designs to suit both little girls and boys rooms, nurseries and around the home. Her custom designs come in various themes, sizes and colours. 

The order process is quick and simple:
You simply choose your design, size of print and colours from the swatch supplied. And anything and everything can be personalised.

These are a few of my favourites:

And these are the prints we chose for SJ's big girl room and EN's nursery:

Now it's your turn to win!!
All you need to do to enter:
Comment below with your favourite Julie Kins design
Follow Ellie Love on Bloglovin
Like Julie Kins on Facebook

Entries close and winner announced on Friday 1 August

Oh Hey Friday

25 July 2014

With the fabulous Five on Friday ladies on a link up break over the US Summer, the Friday posts started to get a little average and sad before the weekend... 
Until these two lovely ladies: Karli and Amy came to the rescue with:

Oh Hey Friday!

So we are back in action - and remember to link up each Friday.

1. Mini Moccasins. Have you ever seen anything cuter? I just ordered a pair of both my girls and I cannot wait for them to arrive! Shop online here.

2. Newborn Shoot. We finally did our newborn photo shoot with the talented Heather Fitchet (is it still newborn at 9 weeks old?!) and here is a sneak peek - we cannot wait to get all the images.

3. Mysmartkid. Did you see my post yesterday? If you live in SA and have a child ages newborn to 7 years old, you need to sign up here! We are loving our new, fun educational toys.

4. Macaroon. I just love this store and their website - perfect stationery and goodies in delicious colours. And the latest "Mum-on-the-Run" range is right up my alley - will e placing my order soon. 

5. Fruit Cleanse. This week, I decided to do a three-day fruit cleanse - basically eating fruit every two hours and a salad for dinner. I was surprised at how good I felt and I wasn't hungry. You can read more about the fruit flush/cleanse on Caycee's blog.

Happy weekend


August is the best month of the year!
Because it's my BIRTHDAY MONTH!

If you have been reading my blog for a while or know me personally, you will know that I LOVE all birthdays - especially my own!

And now it's that time again...
And time for all Ellie Love readers to start winning and celebrating too. Watch this space for exciting giveaways from next Monday.


24 July 2014

As a qualified teacher and a mom of two (especially of a busy, talking and interactive toddler), I am always looking for new, fun and exciting games, toys and educational activities to excite SJ with.

I've recently come across the genius idea that is 

Mysmartkid is a play-based educational programme targeting 0-6 year-olds. By focusing on your child’s development through the use of age-appropriate toys, tools and activities, Mysmartkid promotes school readiness with its integrated early childhood development (EDC) offering.
The programme aims to cut through the clutter of toys, information and well-meaning ‘advice’ that overwhelm many new and expectant parents. Designed by a panel of leading experts, this exciting new subscription-based service offers convenience, value-for-money and a timesaver all in one.  
The childhood development experts, from occupational and play therapists to child psychologists, have been closely involved in the development of the programme and their professional insights and expertise will be a source of trust and assurance for parents everywhere. 

What is it all about?
Mysmartkid is based on the principle that play-based activities are the optimal medium of brain development and learning in the 0-6 age group. Several key age-appropriate milestones are naturally reached during this period of intensive growth and development, and Mysmartkid aims to maximise and enrich this process through its interactive, engaging and stimulating programme.
For busy, working parents, one of the added benefits of the programme is the peace of mind of knowing that your child’s play time is targeted towards his/her development – and that your child is reaching his/her milestones at the right time.

How does it work?
New members subscribe to the Mysmartkid subscription programme for a 12-month period, thereafter it continues on a month to month basis. On joining, you’ll receive welcome gifts of a kiddies’ backpack (valued at R175) and an exclusive parent handbook written by an occupational therapist taking you step-by-step through your child’s ECD milestones.

Every two months, members receive a Smartbox of curated toys and activities for your child, delivered free of charge anywhere in South Africa. Smartbox in hand, all that’s left for you to do is unpack the box, learn how to use the goodies and then introduce them to your child – and play, play play! Every Smartbox is accompanied by a full-colour parent guide packed with relevant advice and information from our experts, as well as guidelines for using the materials. Members will also receive a monthly email newsletter jam-packed with additional information, advice and activities.

The programme groups children into the following age groups: 0-1 years; 1-2 years; 2-3 years; 3-4 years; 4-5 years; and 5-6 years. When registering, members are required to fill in their child’s age (you can register more than one child and each child will have his/her own account).  On the child’s birthday the system will automatically move the subscription up to the next age range.

As a Mysmartkid subscriber, you’ll have member login access to the website programme’s free information, expert advice and additional information – as well as exclusive member-only discounts through the Mysmartkid online shop. The expert panel of child development experts, psychologist and play therapists continually assess and update the programme to ensure it remains current and relevant in accordance with the latest developments in early learning studies.

What does it cost?
Mysmartkid has a subscription fee of R295 every two months in advance with free delivery within South Africa. Payment can be made via debit order, credit card or EFT payment.

How can I sign up?
There are 3 easy ways to join Mysmartkid.
               Sign up at www.mysmartkid.com              
Call on 0861 555 224
Email newapps@mysmartkid.com

Find and follow Mysmartkid at:
Blog: Mysmartkid
Facebook: Mysmartkid
Twitter: @Mysmartkid
Pinterest: MysmartkidSA

Sign up to Mysmartkid today - it’s an invaluable investment in your child’s future and as quick and easy as child’s play! 

I can't wait for my first package to arrive - a blog post to follow. A few of my favourites on the online shop:

*This was not a sponsored post, all views and opinions are my own*

Ellie Love All rights reserved © Blog Milk Powered by Blogger